Have you attempted to remove your teen’s cell-phone or any electronic device only to have them become explosive?
Many parents have actually experienced their teen physically attacking them when they have removed or attempted to remove their devices. These once good teenagers have suddenly become enraged when their online life is threatened.
Digital life is just as important as real life to young people today, if not more important to some. If someone is going to remove that oxygen from them, they go into self-defense mode; now your once happy child will go from zero to hundred in rage.
Many parents have described this technology addiction as the new crack for teens. It has become so powerful that adolescents have completely changed their behaviors if they even believe their online life will be removed. Anxiety and stress will start to rise while their overall mental well-being starts to be compromised.
How to Stop Teen Anger When You Remove Devices
If you find yourself frequently at the receiving end of your teens’ anger (especially when removing their devices) and are not sure how to effectively communicate with them without escalating the situation, let’s discuss three ways you can prevent the situation from intensifying.
1. Remind them of their technology contract. This is where your technology agreement/contract is crucial. If your teens are breaking house rules, not completing their schoolwork, possibly skipping classes, or anything you deem unacceptable behavior, one of the consequences would likely be the removal of their devices for a set amount of time.
This is when a parent must follow through with their consequences — if a teen realizes you are not serious about the technology agreement, there is no sense in having one. Every family that has young people with electronic devices must have a technology agreement.
2. Remain calm. No one is listening while tempers are flaring. Before removing your teen’s device, sit down with them and explain calmly how they have broken their end of the agreement. Depending on the rule they broke, it will likely determine their consequences.
Discuss with them why they will have to turn over their device and let them know you trust that this is not going to happen again; however these are the consequences that they were made aware of — stay firm, confident and calm.
3. Validate. This is not easy, but you will find it will be necessary since most teens will be angry until they understand you are serious about the rules of the technology agreement. It’s imperative you tell them you understand how important their online life is to them; however following rules is also crucial in life.
Validating their feelings and letting them know they have the right to be mad can help them feel understood and respected.
Final thoughts
Equipped with this knowledge, you can avoid teen anger escalating while maintaining boundaries and teaching your teen about rules and consequences. Hopefully after one or two incidents, they will soon understand you are serious when it comes to managing their screen time.
If you believe your teen’s anger, rage and explosive behavior has become out-of-control, seek professional help.
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