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Tough Love is one of the most common paths parents of struggling teens have to travel.
Many cannot understand or grasp the concept of, Tough Love or "not enabling"
the child to ruin or run the family unit. Enduring life with a teen that is
running the home can result in many uproars, conflicts, arguments, battles, and
sometimes psychical and verbal abuse. Tough Love is exactly that: Tough.
Loving our children is unconditional, but we don’t have to like what they are
doing or how they are destroying their lives.
There will come a time when a parent realizes enough is enough! This
is the time that they need the support from outside sources, such as a Tough
Love support groups, along with professional intervention. This does not reflect
you as a parent, nor does it place blame on the family, it is the child that is
making the bad choices and the family is suffering from it.
Many times Tough Love is simply letting go. Let the child make their mistakes
and they will either learn from them or suffer the consequences. Unfortunately
depending on the situation, it is not always feasible to wait until the last
minute to intervene. If you see that Tough Love is not working at home, it may
be time to consider residential placement (placement outside the home). Quality
Residential placements work with the entire family. Once the child is safely
removed from the family, everyone is able to concentrate on the issues calmly
and rationally. Tough Love can mean finding the most appropriate setting outside
of the home for your child.
While in the whirlwind of confusion, frustration
and stress that the child is causing, it is hard to see the actual problem or
problems. With time and distance, the healing starts to occur. Tough Love is a
very painful and stressful avenue, however in many families, very necessary and
very rewarding. Tough Love if used correctly can be helpful. However if you
are the type to give in at the end, all the hard work of standing your ground
will be for nothing. Actually, your weakness or giving in could result in
deeper and more serious problems. Please confer with professionals or outside
help if you feel you are not able to follow through with what you are telling
your child you will do. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help, you are certainly not
alone.
If you feel your teen is in need of further Boarding School, Military School or Program Options, please complete our
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