Our teen is out-of-control, how can we handle our rebellious teenager?
A rebellious teenager can be extremely challenging and frustrating to not only parents, but to the entire family.
Are you facing:
-Teen backtalk, disrespect, rudeness?
-Teen anger, defiance, rage and possibly destruction of property
-Is your teen blatantly defying your house rules and curfews?
-Is your teen ignoring you when you talk to them?
-Is your teen doing drugs, vaping — in your home?
-Has your teen drifted from their friends, become withdrawn?
-Is your teen refusing to go to school? Skipping classes?
If you’re experiencing any of these behaviors or other teen rebellious angst that is more than the typical teenage moodiness, it’s likely you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells with every word you speak.
The teenage years can be challenging as your teen’s brain goes through significant changes and their hormones can heighten their emotions.
How to handle a rebellious teen.
1. Remain calm. It’s not easy, but necessary. Your teenager is still a child — although they do believe they are an adult. Stay cool and collected even as they become outraged — or you don’t understand their reason for rebelling. Calmly use a polite tone to ask them what’s on their mind — display a non-aggressive body language, expression, and genuine concern in your voice. Be empathic to their needs.
2. Be respectful. Think back to when you were a teenager, you’ve been through these years too. Put yourself in their shoes, use the right words, phrases and sentences. Try not to be authoritarian, such as, “I am your mom, and I know best so listen.” Rather use sentences like, “I’m your mom and I know a thing about this… let’s have a chat.”
3. Explain your intentions: Help your teen understand your rules and the reasons behind them. Teens don’t know them unless you tell them. If you told your teen they were not allowed to attend a late night party, then tell them why. It’s for their safety, you fear such parties could be places for illicit activities like underage drinking and smoking, and narcotics use.
Take the conversation forward and explain how these habits can have an impact on the lives of teens and even their families. Use examples if needed. The teenager may better understand the logic behind rules and instructions if you respectfully explain acquaint them to the negative consequences of doing things that are wrong. Most important, take time to listen to their perspective on the situation.
Many parents are often concerned about teen rebellion because they fail to understand its reason and cannot handle it. Most parents believe their teenager will rebel over illogical matters — however that is not true. Teen rebellion often indicates your teen’s desire to be independent — it can cause them to make impulsive choices such as belonging to a less than desirable peer group.
In some situations the rebellion also shows that teenagers have the courage to express themselves and display self-confidence.
To manage rebellious teenagers, you should stay calm, treat your child with respect, and try to understand their perspective before making a decision.
If you’re dealing with a rebellious teen that is out-of-control and you have exhausted your local resources for help, contact us for a free consultation to learn the benefits of therapeutic boarding schools for your family.