Adolescence is a period of developing individuality and identity. These characteristics often lead young people to seek independence – a process that many parents find difficult to accept.
The reason is that they continue to see their children as small children, a perception that teenagers reject and which further intensifies their tendency to react. So what are some useful tips for raising a teenager with problematic behavior?
The Three Basic Pillars for Raising Difficult Teenagers

You’ve probably already read countless pieces of advice on raising teenagers with challenging or difficult behavior. To simplify the process, we’re focusing on three fundamental principles:
- Open communication,
- Clear boundaries, and
- Positive reinforcement.
Starting with open communication, it is essential to create an environment in which your child feels safe to express themselves honestly and without fear.
When your teen starts sharing thoughts and feelings, avoid being judgmental, lecturing, or reacting impulsively. Instead, practice active listening – let them talk without interruption or downplaying their feelings.
Regarding setting limits, below are some basic suggestions:
- Show empathy: Recognize that adolescence is a difficult phase for your teen.
- Establish clear and consistent rules: Teenagers need structure. Rules should be easy to understand and logical.
Some effective boundaries for teens include establishing a curfew, limiting screen time, and taking on household responsibilities.
Finally, positive reinforcement is key. One way to implement this is by boosting your teen’s self-esteem, celebrating their successes and avoiding comparisons with others.
Use Monitoring Software to Stay Up to Date on Your Teen’s Online Activity
In addition to the strategies we’ve already discussed for dealing with a rebellious teenager, it’s also helpful to leverage technology. One particularly effective tool is mSpy, a monitoring software for iPhone and Android that helps you stay on top of your child’s online behavior. Here’s the mSpy official website where you can read more about the app and its features. This mobile child monitoring app can help you in the following situations:
- Location Tracking: mSpy allows you to see where your teen is in real time.
- Browsing history: You can track which websites they visit to identify potential exposure to harmful or inappropriate content.
- Communications monitoring: mSpy gives you access to messages and social media interactions.
- Screen Time Control: This feature helps you ensure that the limits you have set are respected.
Try to Really Understand Your Teenager
Avoid prematurely labeling your child as “problematic” or “reactive.” Instead, try to understand what is motivating this behavior. Very often, there are deeper causes behind the reaction, such as:
- Peer pressure and the need for social acceptance.
- Influences from social media, celebrities and modern culture.
- Mental health issues, such as ADHD, anxiety, or depression.
- Family difficulties, such as divorce or lack of communication at home.
If you identify the roots of the behavior before labeling it, you may find that what seems like rebellion is actually a symptom of an internal struggle your child is experiencing.
Whether it’s something deeper or an open challenge, remember that you are not alone.
In such cases, professional help can be invaluable, especially if the reactive behavior persists or worsens. Consider reaching out to school counselors, parent support groups, or family therapists. These resources offer guidance, practical tools, and shared experiences with other parents facing similar challenges.
Be Prepared to Meet This Challenge
We know that raising a difficult teenager is a particularly demanding experience – but remember that it is not impossible. By applying our suggestions on how to motivate a teenager, you can more effectively deal with their reactive attitude, with key virtues such as patience and empathy.
Technology can be a valuable ally in your endeavor, and mSpy is one of the most effective tools available today. It gives you a clear picture of the digital environment your child is in – an environment that may be negatively influencing their behavior.
There’s no doubt about it: mSpy is a great resource for improving your family’s online security.
Also read:
How to Help Teens to Think Before They Post
How to Support Your Teen’s Digital Life
Image credit: Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash


