It can be challenging when we watch our teenager falling into a negative peer group or develop toxic friendships. Teen relationships can be hard, especially as they are trying to figure out where they fit in.
A common concern parents have today is when their teenager is involved with a friendship that has turned toxic. A friend that is constantly degrading your child or intentionally not including them in events that leaves them feeling sad and lonely.
As a parent, watching your teen get hurt emotionally is excruciating since many of us have experienced at some time in our lives. Whether your child is being teased or used in their friendship, it’s important for us to teach our kids about respectful and healthy relationships.
First let’s discuss possible reasons why your teen may decide to hang out with friends that may not be best for them.
Reasons Teens Gravitate to Toxic Friends
1. Sense of belonging. When an adolescent is struggling with depression or sadness, typically they are also feeling a lack of self-confidence. The fear of being rejected is real — but those with a low self-esteem may be more likely to give in to negative influences. A toxic friend, although negative, gives them attention.
2. Cool kids. Initially, your teen may believe that their friend is cool and they want to be part of their friend circle. They might be thinking the grass is greener by being part of this group, believing these kids are having more fun, but once they are part of this group, it doesn’t take long to realize that they are not genuine friendships.
How to Help My Teen Choose Healthy Friendships
Friendships for teenagers are imperative as they grow and continue through school. Where do they fit in, are they accepted, do they feel wanted or needed? These relationships play a crucial role for your teen emotionally as well as for their social development outside of their family.
1. Interests, hobbies and activities. Connections with people that have your same interests is a great place to start. This is one of the most effective ways to make friends with similar interests.
Encourage your teen to explore hobbies and passions, whether it’s sports, music, art, or something else entirely.
Engaging in activities they enjoy can boost their confidence and provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals.
Consider enrolling them in clubs, classes, or community groups like a youth club where they can pursue their interests in a social setting and build friendships in an enjoyable, low-pressure environment.
2. Teaching resilience and coping strategies. Friendships can be complicated, especially with young people. Teens can be mean, dealing with all the emotional and physical changes they’re experiencing through puberty, words can be sharp without consideration for feelings.
Teaching your teen emotional resilience will help them navigate the inevitable challenges that come with teenage friendships. Encourage them to see these experiences as opportunities to learn and grow. Share strategies for coping with rejection or conflict such as engaging in a calming activity, or talking things over with a trusted friend or family member.
3. Volunteering. Encourage your teen to volunteer at local group homes, animal rescues, youth groups, charities, churches, homeless shelters, or kitchens, and/or teaching clubs. Your teenager will meet peers who will have similar values in helping others, serving the community, and giving back.
With the rise of social media, teens are more plugged in than ever. Teenage loneliness is more apparent than parents may realize. Many teens wish their parents knew how hard it is today to make friends — in real life.
Understanding the basics of how teenagers can make better friend choices can really help with providing your teen opportunities to meet other teens and set them up for success when they are interacting with others.
Overall, modeling healthy friendship behavior with other adults can be your golden ticket.
Also read:
Why Group Therapy Benefits Troubled Teens
How to Prevent Teens From Sending Inappropriate Images
Image credit: Freepik, prostooleh
