Teen depression and anxiety has doubled over the past several years leaving young people struggling to find ways to cope with their feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. One survey shows that 57% of teen females and 29% of teen males live with sad, hopeless feelings that won’t go away. (These rates are dramatically higher than they were just 10 years ago.)
It’s not always obvious that your teen is having dark or suicidal thoughts, even if you are close with your child and have open and frequent conversations, one study shares that nearly half of parents whose adolescent children were thinking about suicide didn’t know it was happening.
Causes of suicidal thoughts
Like generations earlier, teen years are a stressful time filled with major changes — today it can be more challenging with the evolution of technology. Young people are not only struggling with body changes, hormones, puberty which can all lead to feelings of confusion, fear and especially stress. One of the most troubling areas of living through adolescence today, is most are living it online where they risk being shamed, bullied and humiliated — or even being left out of events where all their friends were invited to.
Some warning signs:
- Loss of interest in normal activities
- Changes in eating and sleeping
- Withdrawal from friends and family members
- Acting-out behaviors and running away
- Alcohol or drug use
- Neglecting their personal appearance
- Unnecessary risk-taking
- Obsession with death and dying
- More physical complaints often linked to emotional distress, such as stomachaches, headaches, and extreme tiredness (fatigue)
- Loss of interest in school or schoolwork
- Feeling bored
- Problems focusing
- Feeling they want to die
- Lack of response to praise
How to help my teen with suicidal thoughts
1. Be supportive while acknowledging their negative feelings.
Although their struggles may seem small to us, they are huge to them. Listen to their concerns, let your teen know you are there to help. Look for ways to provide emotional, spiritual and personal support and offer problem-solving and coping techniques that could improve their situation.
2. Be honest with your teenager.
Talk to your teen about how they are doing and about their emotions they are experiencing. Discuss their past experiences that may have been challenging and ways to overcome them. Validate your teen’s concerns while gently reminding them about the temporary nature of problems and that moving forward through adversity is possible by using resilience tools develop in the past.
3. Promote social connections and involvement.
It’s important for your teen to get involved with family and friends on different levels. Find ways to connect more as a family and provide opportunities to connect with peers and other adult caregivers. This can help your teen’s feelings of loneliness and helplessness and allow them to transition to a sense of belonging. Some teens find comfort in isolating in their bedroom — it’s imperative to find ways to get them outside of this comfort zone.
4. Have conversations and ask questions.
When you see changes in your teen, ask questions, have discussions. Be proactive and ask what’s wrong. If you fear they are considering hurting themself, or may have suicidal thoughts, be direct and ask, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” Asking about suicide doesn’t cause harm and often helps. If your teen answers yes, don’t downplay the situation, ask how you can help. Seek professional help.
5. Reach out to professional help.
The majority of people who commit suicide (90%) have one or more treatable mental illnesses. Even if the root cause isn’t mental illness, coping techniques and emotional support are proven methods to aid those in need at all ages.
Teens can be reluctant to engage with a counselor or therapist, however it is important to get them help and find one they can relate to and open up with. If they refuse, seek help with a family member or friend they trust that can help convince them to seek help.
Conclusion.
Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for teens and young adults, ages 10-34 (CDC, 2023). 22% of high school students reported having seriously considered suicide in the past year (2024).
The positive news is that with the proper information and willingness to reach out to someone in need, everyone can help prevent suicide.
In case of emergency, call 911 or the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Also read:
Causes of Teenage Mental Health
Why Art Therapy Helps Teen Mental Health
Sources: John Hopkins Medicine, Healthy Children, Mayo Clinic Health System, JED Foundation
Image attribution: Pexels, Julia M. Cameron
