If your teenager acts in an abusive way towards you, you’re not alone. Parents can be the target of a teen’s anger and it can be extremely frightening.
The abuse may be violent and physically aggressive, but it may also be more emotionally and verbally abusive. In either situation, your family needs immediate help — especially your teen.
According to research the majority of CPA cases (97%) it was the mother that was being abused and 83% of the time it was by her teenage son. Daughters were more likely to use verbal or emotional abuse tactics while sons were more aggressive.
3 Forms of Parental Abuse
Are you starting to fear your teenager? Do you feel increased tension when you are around him/her?
1. Emotional and verbal abuse. Is your teenager constantly manipulating you? Insulting and belittling you? Using harsh and hurtful language? Have they even started threatening you? These are forms of emotional and verbal abuse that is unacceptable.
2. Financial abuse. If your teen is not able to get something they want or feel they deserve, stealing money or using a parents’ credit card is a form of abuse. This can cause havoc for parents that are now using bolt locks on their bedroom doors and locking up their purses.
3. Physical abuse. Teens that physically attack their parent, such as hitting, slapping, or even throw things at them, can be extremely frightening. The level of rage and anger the teenager must be feeling at the moment has to be overwhelming — they need help immediately.
Physical abuse can also lead to property damage. The intentional destruction of belongings or property is an expression of anger or frustration and typically aimed to hurt the parent (emotionally).
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Did you threaten to or actually remove your teen’s cell-phone? Now they have retaliated by becoming destructive to your property.
3 Risk Factors for Parental Abuse
Understanding the risks factors that can contribute to parental abuse is essential for proactive intervention that can lead to a safer and healthier family environment.
1. Family issues. There are no perfect families. Family dysfunction can contribute to tension in the home — whether there is an ongoing family conflict, unresolved issues, or breakdown in communication. Stress could be a pending divorce or possibly sibling rivalry (jealousy).
2. Mental health concerns. Does your teenager struggle with mental health issues, such as conduct disorder, mood disorders, depression — it could potentially elevate the risk of engaging in abusive behaviors towards their parents.
3. Substance abuse. If you are dealing with a teen that is struggling with substance use, this could elevate your risks of parental abuse. Your child might not be themselves, as they are possibly self-medicating — or they are desperately seeking their next high.
What to Do If Your Teen is Abusive
Knowing what to do when your teen acts out in an abusive way can prevent a situation from escalating. The most important reaction you can have it to remain calm.
As difficult as this may seem, it’s imperative that you communicate assertively that your teen’s behavior is unacceptable. Parents must also establish consequences for this behavior while reinforcing positive alternative.
Now it’s time to reach out to a therapist or counselor, someone experienced in adolescent behavior to determine where this anger and rage is stemming from. Family therapy can help and encourage open dialogue to better understand the root causes and emotions behind this explosive behavior.
If your teen refuses to attend therapy or you find he/she is not engaging, it may be time to consider residential treatment. Therapeutic boarding schools can be beneficial in helping implement coping skills for self-regulating their impulsivities’ — especially anger management.
Residential therapy will offer not offer only talk therapy, but other therapies such as animal therapy, art therapy, music therapy and even horticulture therapy. All these have proven to be helpful in giving teenagers the skills they need to be successful in managing their feelings.
If you are living with an abusive teenager, get help today to restore peace to your family. It’s not only for you, but especially for your teenager.
Also read:
Are Therapeutic Boarding Schools Effective?
7 Questions Parents Ask About Residential Treatment
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