Raising teenagers today has never been more challenging, whether you are dealing with technology addiction or the latest behavioral trait, teen arrogance.
Many parents are now experiencing, especially with teen boys, cocky and arrogant attitudes that lead to defiant, rebellious and disrespectful behavior at home. It also can lead to poor peer relationships and even fights at school.
It can be extremely frustrating when your teen believes they know it all, and want to constantly argue with you or they feel they are better than others. Suddenly their friends are no longer wanting to hang out with them, this can build more internal anger for your teenager.
Why is my teen so arrogant?
Arrogance can sometimes be used to mask a person’s true feelings. Your teen may act arrogant and cocky, but they may be suffering with poor self-image.
Low self-confidence
Teens will overcompensate for their insecurities by acting like they are bigger and better than others, however it comes off as obnoxious and arrogant. This becomes their coping mechanism to deal with their low self-confidence.
Immaturity
Reality is, teenagers are immature. They don’t realize just how much, and this is no different than when we were kids, but we all can look back now — with much more clarity. Acting like you are above others or know more than your friends is not an attractive character. As a matter of fact, arrogance is ugly in many ways, however sometimes it takes maturity to learn this lesson.
Know-it-all (just enough knowledge to be dangerous)
This can get them into real trouble, (it’s not any different for adults), when your teen knows the highlights of a subject, yet can argue about it as if they know it as an expert. Maybe they read something online, it may have even been misinformation, and they start talking about it before finding out if it is factual. This can be scary and cause a lot of friction with friends or family.
Entitlement, it’s the “all about me” generation
Teen entitlement is one of the common complaints among parents today. Your teen’s arrogance can stem from their entitlement, their own adopted entitled view of the world. They are always right and debating with them can lead to explosive arguments and even destructive behavior.
HORMONES
From puberty to yes, hormones — their emotions are going crazy and self-control is sometimes at a minimum. As most of us can remember, your body is going through all sorts of changes both physically and emotionally. From experiencing acne to stress and sadness, teens today are facing more challenges (with the thanks to social media) than generations earlier. They are constantly worried about keeping up and fear of missing out.
How to help an arrogant teen?
We all know raising teenagers is not always easy and dealing with an arrogant, cocky and entitled teen can truly test your limits. Research shows that rude, arrogant teens are likely to develop into rude, arrogant adults.
It starts with patience and staying calm
Since we (the parent) can be ready to explode when our teen is expressing themselves disrespectfully or seemingly “arrogantly”, this can probably be the hardest thing to do – but very necessary. Engaging with your teen by yelling at them can only escalate the situation. Take a breath, literally walk away or develop a mantra to repeat over and over in your head until you can calm down. It’s important for you to do whatever it takes to prevent your temper from flaring.
Communication with understanding
Somes teenagers are not aware they are being arrogant, maybe they don’t realize how they are affecting the people around them. Talk to them with calmness and understanding, maybe by saying, ‘That comment came across as pretty offensive, did you mean to behave rudely?’ In some situations, simply by pointing out the arrogant behavior can be enough for the teen to reconsider their actions.
Dig deeper
If you have had numerous conversations with your teen about their arrogant and disrespectful behavior, it might be time to dig deeper. Sit down with your teen or take them out to lunch — find out what they are feeling, ask questions and most importantly, listen.
Let them know you’re on their side, that you want to help but you simply cannot and will not tolerate their behavior. Arrogant behavior is an ugly trait that will not only not be tolerated in your home, but they will eventually not have any good friends.
Conclusion
If you feel you have tried everything to get through to your teen, talk to your school counselor and consider having him/her talk to an adolescent therapist. It’s important to find out why they have this arrogant attitude and turn it around as swiftly as possible.
Also read:
How to Help My Teen Manage Screen Time
