It’s a common question a parent has when their teenager is acting out, ‘is this typical teen behavior or something we need to be concerned about?‘
When does typical teenage behavior cross the line to a time when parents need to be worried? There can be several factors to consider — beginning with their behavior at home and their school performance.
It’s important to understand that as tweens grow into teens, spending more time with their friends is normal. Parents may be dismayed that their teen no longer wants to go to their grandparents for Sunday dinner, or possibly want to skip the family vacation in order to spend time with their friends — however this is typical teen behavior.
Teenagers are going through intense physical, emotional, and mental changes. It definitely can be a roller-coaster as they come into their own without the coping skills to handle the different emotions they will be experiencing.
What is Typical Teen Behavior?
As a teenager is figuring out who they are, it can be a time of struggles and difficulties.
- Friends become their priority, less time with family
- Their appearance will change as they try out different styles (hair, clothing, makeup, etc.)
- Trying out different hobbies or interests (maybe what their friends are doing)
- Sleeping more (most will stay up later, and sleep longer)
- Feeling sad or anxious (with the rise of social media, anxiety and depression has become more common)
- Experimented with alcohol and drugs (vaping)
Many of us will remember growing up and feel that new found independence as a teenager. Teens often start pushing away from their parents so they can start to make their own decisions about what they do and how they want to be.
This can sometimes result in pushback; teen defiance, disrespect — possible anger and rage can occur when a teen is not getting their own way. They are now testing their boundaries and breaking rules such as curfews, this can be very frustrating.
All of the above mentioned, can be labeled at typical teenage behavior — so when does it escalate to a point that parents need to be concerned?
Beyond Typical Teenage Behavior
When should a parent be concerned about their teen’s behavior? When does typical teenage behavior cross the line into unacceptable and concerning conduct?
When teen rebellious behavior becomes intense, including blatant disregard for parental rules or societal laws, it may be time for parents to start to worry.
Especially if the rebellion turns to explosive and destructive behavior that can be frightening to the parent or even siblings. This can result in serious and imminent physical harm to your teen and those around them.
1. Teen anger and rage
Typical teen behavior experiences some defiance including anger with rage (especially if they don’t get what they want or their devices are removed), however if your teen is getting to a point where it is uncontrollable and you fear for your safety or those in your home — it is beyond typical teen behavior.
2. School performance
Although you have smart child, capable of getting A’s and used to care about their homework, exams as well as their overall school work, (either suddenly) or over a period of time, they now are failing, skipping classes or refusing to go to school.
It’s normal (typical teenage behavior) to have a bad report card now and then, but when you see your teen consistency failing, skipping school or not attending — this is now a time for concern.
3. Depression, anxiety, suicide ideation or self-harm
As a young person, feeling sad or anxious can be normal at times. Sometimes they can have disagreements with their friends or in today’s world, online bullying is very prevalent. Whether someone is posting an event they were not invited to, or feeling “less than” after doom scrolling.
Working through those difficult emotions is hard, but eventually with the help of family and friends, the pain eases.
However, when this behavior becomes worrisome is when it escalates into depression and possibly self-harm to relieve their anxiety and internal emotional pain. If your teenager has become withdrawn, isolates in their room, stopped attending school, appetite changes or other signs of depression — it’s important to take serious steps to get them help.
4. Substance use (drugs, alcohol, vaping)
Most everyone has experimented with drinking, or smoking pot — today it’s now vaping. When the experimentation turns into a habit is when this typical teenage behavior needs immediate intervention.
If you find your teen frequently smells of smoke or alcohol, has red or glazed eyes, or you discover paraphernalia in their room, these are warning signs.
Behaviors are also telling—if they’re suddenly secretive, changing their friend group rapidly, asking for money without an explanation, or showing a lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities, these could point to substance use.
5. Technology (social media) addiction/obsession
The majority of teenagers today were raised with a screen in their hands. This has been a major trigger to mental wellness in young people today. From gaming addiction to social media obsession, teens turn to their digital devices as if they were oxygen. Teenage tantrums (explosions) can be heard throughout neighborhoods if a parent even threatens to remove electronics from a teen that is completely engaged in their screen.
In some situations, local authorities have been called in when the teen has become so out-of-control that physical damage to the house or people has erupted. This is when typical teen behavior of using a device has completely reached a level of major concern.
Conclusion
Every parent will deal with typical teenage behavior at some point, however when you see your teen escalating beyond normal behaviors, as listed above, it’s time to consider outside help. Reaching out to local therapy is always your first step, but if that isn’t successful it might be time to consider help outside of the home.
Also read:
How to Tell If Your Teen is High?
