Teens sneaking out of house has been going on for generations, but that doesn’t make it okay or safe. It’s imperative to help your teen understand the consequences of sneaking out before this behavior happens.
Sneaking out in the middle of the night or after dark may seem exciting and exhilarating. For a lot of teens, sneaky behavior is not about defying you but about expressing themselves or getting something or doing something they really want to do.
Maybe they begged to go to an event or a party and you felt it wasn’t safe for them — whether there was alcohol being served or possibly no adult supervision, however your teenager is determined to go. Sneaking out, they believe, is their only option.
Sneaking out is unsafe, a violation of parental trust, and generally a recipe for trouble. How do you reconcile this with keeping them safe and putting effective boundaries in place?
5 Ways to Prevent Teens from Sneaking Out
As a parent there are ways you can reduce the chances of your teen sneaking out and it can start by simply explaining you have rules against it and there will be consequences. It might be removing their devices or not attending social activities with friends (such as the mall or a movie) in the future.
1. Building trust and connection. Without trust, your teen will not respect the boundaries and rules you set. This is not always easy, especially if you don’t make time to connect with your child. Sneaking out is one way they may show you they don’t trust or respect your rules.
2. Talk about peer pressure. Empower your teen to resist negative peer pressure. Try not to put all the blame on their friends, it’s possible your teenager might be the one making these bad choices.
3. Cell phone (technology) contract. Hopefully you have a technology contract in place that electronics (phone, laptop) are placed in a secure location outside of the bedroom at a certain hour at night. If your teen can’t receive a message from their friends in the middle of the night, they’ll be far less likely to be tempted to sneak out.
4. Safety, safety, safety. It’s imperative your teen understand the risks of sneaking out. Teens can be very impulsive; this can prevent them from making good decisions which can lead to trouble. Make it clear to your teenager that your rules are put in place for their safety and well-being.
Teenagers may push the boundaries, but this does not mean they don’t want to feel safe as well. They want to know where the boundaries are. Often — they want you to push back. This makes them feel safe.
5. Make it real. Teens need to understand that there are very serious risks that could potentially happen by sneaking out. Young people tend to believe they are invincible and nothing could ever happen to them or in their community. This is the time to share crime statistics or the fact that motor vehicle fatalities and other accidents are the leading cause of death for teens age 15-19.
If your teen sneaks out at night and you do not know where they are, do not be afraid to call the police. This is a serious situation and it can be a wake-up call for your teenager. Sneaking out is scary for a parent and can be potentially unsafe or even dangerous for the child.
If you catch your teen sneaking out once, follow through with consequences — hopefully that will help them think twice about sneaking out again. If it becomes a habit, it is time to seek professional help.
Also read:
How to Help My Teen Choose Good Friends
How to Help My Teens Stop Vaping
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